The Purple Beggar

A certain monk of the Clan of Iron Bones approached host master Yishi-Shing, saying: “A thousand pardons, master, but ever since last week’s operating system upgrade I have not been able to bring up our backup disk array.”

Yishi-Shing asked, “What have you tried, other than pestering me?”

The monk said: “I have contacted the disk vendor—they say our new system is not supported. I have pored through their documentation—it is next to useless. I have scoured the web for others in my situation—none can be found. I have begged for help in online forums—not a single reply have I received.”

Yishi-Shing said: “Show me this ‘begging for help’.”

The monk opened his laptop and indicated his many polite pleas for assistance. Indeed, all were unanswered.

Yishi-Shing shook his head. “Then we have our answer.”

The master took the laptop from the monk’s hands and cross-posted the following to a dozen message boards:

**WARNING** Thundering Elephant’s 24-terabyte disk arrays CANNOT be mounted under Petulant Penguin kernel 89! No workaround is possible! AVOID THIS SETUP!!!

Yishi-Shing then closed the laptop and walked away, humming.

That evening the master summoned the monk and asked him what news.

The monk opened his laptop. “Five separate posters have each called me a blithering idiot and offered a simple solution to my problem, which they claim to have tested on their own systems.”

Yishi-Shing nodded. “My walk once took me past a beggar whose sign read, You do not DARE throw coins at ME! His body was purple with bruises but his bowl was always full.”