I'm very honored to be speaking at Dev Day 2014 in Krakow this September!
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Case 4

Willows

A new priest of the Spider Clan was lamenting the poor quality of the Javascript code produced by his novices.

“I will investigate,” said the Java master.

After visiting the novices, the master decreed that the first four be struck sharply across the knuckles each morning before their hands were allowed to touch their keyboards. For the fifth novice, he prescribed no action. The priest asked the master why this was so.

“The sapling, if tended, may become the willow; but not so the blade of grass,” said the master.

Hearing this, the priest ordered the fifth novice to be let go.

To his surprise this angered the Java master greatly, and the priest himself was cast out. On his final pay stub, the master wrote the following:

We cannot lie across a thousand willows and contemplate the sunrise.