I'm very honored to be speaking at Dev Day 2014 in Krakow this September!
The Emperor was angered by the defects in the new order processing system he had commissioned, and so dispatched a messenger to the temple, to investigate the monks there.
“His Excellency sent you his most trusted Business Analysts to ensure that all features would work as intended,” scowled the messenger. “Did you not comprehend any of their numerous PowerPoint presentations?”
“We attended each one,” said the Java master. “And all that was heard, was understood.”
The master set a small bowl of rice before the messenger, who finished it promptly. The messenger wiped his mouth upon his sleeve and continued:
“These same Analysts provided you with ten thousand pages of requirements documents, meticulously illustrated down to the last Use Case. Did you not trouble yourselves to examine them?”
“We sifted through each page,” said the Java master. “And all that was read, was understood.” The master set a steaming cup of tea before the messenger, who downed it in one gulp.
The messenger then fell forward onto the table, dead.
The master asked of his students: “Did the messenger not know that it is our custom to surround ourselves with poisoned food and drink, that we may better resist the urges of the flesh?”
Said the wisest monk: “All that was observed by the messenger, was understood.”
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